No Parking, No Standing, & No Halloween

 

Hello again art lovers!

I hope you’ve all had a good week thus far.

This week I’m doing something different.  I wrote this funny little story on a cold, wet day last february while residentially challenged.  Every time I read the tale I get the giggles and  it reminds me of  stories like “The Night before Christmas” and “A Clockwork Orange”.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. 


“No Parking, No Standing & No Halloween”

Once upon a time there was a guy named Pete.

He was mild-mannered since he gave up the drink.

In fact, it had been quite a long while.

Since then he had gained a cat, wife, and child.

Anyway, Halloween drew close.

It was awfully near,

So Pete beat the streets and had a few beers.

There was a neighborhood with big houses and people behind where he lived.

Excited, he wondered what kind of treats they would give.

Candy corn and caramel apples danced in his head, but when he entered the neighborhood, there were no decorations, the place was dead.

Pete was awfully angry, he wanted to scream.

There were scores of signs which read,

“NO PARKING, NO STANDING, AND NO HALLOWEEN!”

There were signs warning, “NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH!”

Their safes were all safe and everything was locked.

These people were scared.  Pete didn’t know what about.

They didn’t want Halloween.  TRICKR’R TREATERS stay out!

“Why these bastards, these jerks, these twerps, these creeps!  Who in the hell doesn’t love Halloween?”

The day finally came.  It was all Hallow’s Eve.

Some time had went past, but Pete was still peeved.  

He was alone, so he went out to celebrate.  

He drank beer, vodka, then whiskey until it was awfully late.

Pete headed for home, but then had an idea.  

He would visit the neighbors and play on their fear.

He spay painted phallus’ on streets and on signs, on lamp posts and on long cement drives.

These phallus’ were huge, much bigger than mine!

Pete hit the whole neighborhood, house by house.

He was sly as a fox and quiet as a mouse.

When Pete finally came to the spree’s end,

He wiped his brow with a glove and gave a big grin.

The next morning though, Pete remembered and was terribly scared, but after a while he knew there was nothing to fear.

He was lucky.  Pete wasn’t at all sick and he let out a hearty belly laugh at the thought of his trick.

What Pete did was terrible and really pretty mean, but now those big people back there had a reason to hate Halloween.


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For information and availability concerning the piece above, or information on my current selection of art, feel free to contact me via my website. 

 Until next time, have a happy Halloween.

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CKirk

⇑⊕ ckirkart.com ⊕⇓


A Psalm Concerning Nasty Ol’ Brian

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Once upon a time there was a guy called Brian.  He was always mad and usually cryin’.  People were always in his way, he never had anything good to say until a light bulb lit up above his head, and he saw things really weren’t that bad.  He did everything he could do.  He lost weight and polished his shoes.  Afterward, he even made his bed, but the very next day Brian fell down and broke his head.  Out of everyone that heard the news, no one cried, or sang the blues. they all rejoiced instead.  They rejoiced because nasty ol’ Brian was finally dead.

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Until next time, have a great week!

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Ckirk

A.K.A

The Son Of GRID

A.K.A

Mister Miracle

Enjoy the new series Apoko-Lips as well as my earlier works

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