He Was Some Type Of Security Guard & Sort Of Looked Like Dr. Johnny Fever

Hello again dear readers,

Today is Thanksgiving.  This blog post has nothing to do with Thanksgiving really.  I mean, the post is about a dream that took place between the hours of one and five a.m. on Thanksgiving, but that’s it.  I suppose I could tie it to the holiday by saying that I’m grateful that I’m not incarcerated in a mental institution or prison.  Anyway, read on if you’re interested in seeing where this goes.

The story begins.  I have had a Flu virus and have spent much of the last couple of days organizing my porn collection and not eating much.  Yesterday I finally began to feel better and decided to commence my nightly reading sessions instead of passing out.  I had forgotten to take my ginseng and ginko biloba that day and swallowed the pills late in the evening.  I also took a dose of melatonin as I sometimes do.  Anyway, I picked up my reading where I left off on Robert Anton Wilson’s “Email To The Universe”.  About an hour later, I decided to turn in.

The dream began and for some reason, I was with group of students in a retail store I had worked in while I was a student myself years ago. We lined the large, long, dingy couches while day-to-day activities went on.  A lady, who strangely looked like my second 2nd grade teacher, came out to address our group.  She was my former boss who had either fired me or that I had walked out on.  Thankfully, I was much older and she didn’t recognize me.

The dream moved forward and passed through some conversations with a young homely looking girl dressed in loose cloths and an old army jacket.  She’s wasn’t ugly but dressed like a slob.  A little later I’m in her shinny orange muscle car and we’re driving somewhere.  There was a minor problem with something inside the car.  It could have just been the push-in lighter.  I explained how I coud fix it and she seemed impressed.  We arrived at her destination.  It was a high school.  I believed I asked her how old she was, but I can’t remember.  She exited the vehicle with no explanation.

After a while, I get bored with setting in the bright orange muscle car and pushed open the heavy door.  I went inside the school and looked for my new, young friend.  It was chaos inside.  People were everywhere.  There was a lot lot of noise and traffic but no common direction.  A bully type stomped down the hall chanting some annoying school motto and being a jerk.  I thought about attacking him in front of the other kids but decide that would be a bad idea.  I’d either wind up in jail or maybe I’d even lose and be embarrassed.  I suddenly picked up on a “Resort in Chaos” theme.  There were games of all types going on.  There was a restaurant/pool outback.  I made my way toward it when, someone stopped me.  It was my new friend; except she wasn’t a cute little homely girl anymore, she was a little chubby boy.

He explained who he was and that he had to change back into a boy because he had to return to school and his father would be picking him up later.  I suppose the orange muscle car was stolen and the kid was out on some wild outing.  Anyway, I thought discovering she was in high school was bad enough.  Despite the mind fuck above, I took the news from my new friend with a grain of salt, said a kind good-bye and moved on toward the pool.

I passed along the rough concreted area.  The heat rose from up from the water.  I went inside a narrow yellow and red plastic hut that was sort of built over the pool.  The plastic pool covering looked like an oversized child’s play house.  You know, one like many of our sisters may have had as a toddler.  There were two men inside, a fairly attractive women a few tables down and a photographer down a bit further.  I took a seat between the first two men and the bikini clad women.  The two men were discussing something intensely.  Apparently the bikini clad women was a sister to one of them.  The photographer, who apparently may have been a con artist, took a bunch of shitty photos and had robbed the gullible young women of her money.  Or maybe that was just how the two men perceived the situation.  The photographer might have taken marvelous photos.  Either way I got the feeling the two men were about to really give the photographer a beating.  Just as I exited, my new friend was passing by with a group of other kids and stopped to talk with me.  He was a she again and dressed better, a little more feminine I mean.  We talked for a moment and she gave me her number.

I received a phone call just after the two men commenced to beating the photographers ass, meeting my friend again and  I hopped a fence and moved down into a parking lot.  The phone call was my parents who suddenly, I was supposed to be meeting on the other side of the school.  I talked with them for a moment, assured them I would be there shortly and hung up.  When I looked up I was no longer walking across a flat parking lot, I was in a garbage strown path lined with gravel, concrete and a heavily wooded area was on both sides of me.  I looked up and noticed the back of the school was on my left, so I pushed on and followed the new path toward my folks.

I arrived at a high chain link fence with no opening.  A type of camper trailer set elevated on the left just in front of the fence that separated the school from the woods.  I saw the top of someones head through the window of the camper.  There was movement inside.  I thought about how to exit the enclosure for a moment and decided to throw my backpack over the fence.  Unfortunately it hung on some barbed wire toward the top.  All my stuff was inside.  A few minutes later a man exited the camper looking disheveled.  He glanced up and around hurriedly.  The man spotted me and then my backpack that hung from the wire.  He began walking down the long wooden stairs toward me.

Johnny Fever

He was very upset and insisted that I follow him to the camper.  He was some type of security guard and sort of looked like Dr. Johnny Fever from the old television show WKRP In Cincinnati.  There was a young brunette women under a comforter on the couch.  She was attractive and watched television with the sound off.   I realized it was her dancing in a  hot pink thong on the small screen.  It reminded me of a rap video or the intro to a home-made sex movie.  The inside of the camper was a mess.  I suppose Dr. Johnny Fever used it as an office as well as living quarters and sex shack.


Doctor Johnny Fever explained that what I did was illegal.  The lecture went on for a while.  My parents showed up in the office somehow.  I remembered that I was supposed to be meeting them before getting busted.  About the same time my friend Todd walked through the camper door with a new girlfriend he wanted me to meet.  Apparently I was supposed to be hanging out with them also.  Todd and his girlfriend moved on and said they’d catch up with me later.  I guess they were going to explore the school.  The ominous conversation with Dr, Johnny Fever continued.  My father entered the conversation and became angry as usual.  Dr. Fever for some reason wanted to help but protocol had to be followed.  He would have to take me to jail but it could be a great opportunity for me he assured.

He outlined some plan of how going to jail for tossing my backpack into the barbed wire in a restricted area could really make me seem desirable to his employers and if I worked the situation just right, I would no doubt land a high paying, respectable job with his company.  There was much more to Fever’s plan, but I can’t remember the details now.  He informed me I’d be seeing the judge at 12:00 noon the next day.  He corrected him self directly afterward and said I’d be arraigned at 2:30pm.  My father protested and while they were conversing about the situation, the attractive brunette women who had been under the comforter approached me.  Apparently she had gotten up from the couch and exited the room earlier without anyone noticing.  Anyway, as she spoke I watched her shake her tanned, oiled up, shinny ass on the small television.  I can’t remember exactly what she said, but the gist was for me not to elevate my voice or action while resisting.  It never turns out well.  She insisted that if I stay calm and think, everything will work out.  Afterward, she walked out of the room but her digital image still danced on the small television screen in the corner of the dimly lit camper.

Screen shot 2014-11-27 at 12.17.11 PM

About that time Dr. Johnny Fever threw his hands up in the air and suddenly changed his tune.  “Oh well,” he said, ” I guess we’ll just blame it on Peavey.”  He flipped a heavy, oversized Frankenstein switch in the corner of the camper and an ear bursting alarm rang out.  It was enough to split your head into.  He told us to move orderly out of the camper and to the nearest exit.  Once outside, there were tons of people hurrying to the other end of the school where I had came from.  The pace was fast and there was a mild fear of being trampled but it wasn’t too overpowering and soon faded.  Despite the ominous, trumpeting alarm that seemed like it was straight out of ol’ time religion’s revelations, I knew it was a false alarm and the situation kind of became like play time instead of a panic party. We were leaving and there was nothing to worry about.  I never did get my backpack back though.  Oh well, Dr. Johnny Fever had let me off the hook and I was still a free man.

I won’t bore you with what I think this dream means but I did analyze it and shortly after waking at five a.m., left my warm bed to record it here.  I’ve been trying to document my dreams lately.  I don’t remember them very often.  For instance, in the last month, I have only had two dreams that I could recall after waking.  That being said, the dream was a real experience and I’m thankful I had it.  

Happy Thanksgiving to you if you celebrate.

Until next time,






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