Hello again art lovers!
I hope you’ve all had a good week thus far.
This week I’m doing something different. I wrote this funny little story on a cold, wet day last february while residentially challenged. Every time I read the tale I get the giggles and it reminds me of stories like “The Night before Christmas” and “A Clockwork Orange”. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
“No Parking, No Standing & No Halloween”
Once upon a time there was a guy named Pete.
He was mild-mannered since he gave up the drink.
In fact, it had been quite a long while.
Since then he had gained a cat, wife, and child.
Anyway, Halloween drew close.
It was awfully near,
So Pete beat the streets and had a few beers.
There was a neighborhood with big houses and people behind where he lived.
Excited, he wondered what kind of treats they would give.
Candy corn and caramel apples danced in his head, but when he entered the neighborhood, there were no decorations, the place was dead.
Pete was awfully angry, he wanted to scream.
There were scores of signs which read,
“NO PARKING, NO STANDING, AND NO HALLOWEEN!”
There were signs warning, “NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH!”
Their safes were all safe and everything was locked.
These people were scared. Pete didn’t know what about.
They didn’t want Halloween. Poor people stay out!
“Why these bastards, these jerks, these twerps, these creeps! Who in the hell doesn’t love Halloween?”
The day finally came. It was all Hallow’s Eve.
Some time had went past, but Pete was still peeved.
He was alone, so he went out to celebrate.
He drank beer, vodka, then whiskey until it was awfully late.
Pete headed for home, but then had an idea.
He would visit the neighbors and play on their fear.
He spay painted phallus’ on streets and on signs, on lamp posts and on long cement drives.
These phallus’ were huge, much bigger than mine!
Pete hit the whole neighborhood, house by house.
He was sly as a fox and quiet as a mouse.
When Pete finally came to the spree’s end,
He wiped his brow with a glove and gave a big grin.
The next morning though, Pete remembered and was terribly scared, but after a while he knew there was nothing to fear.
He was lucky. Pete wasn’t at all sick and he let out a hearty belly laugh at the thought of his trick.
What Pete did was terrible and really pretty mean, but now those big people back there had a reason to hate Halloween.